There was this family who once run a Char Siew Pau stall near where I live. There, is where this mid 40 years old guy hang out. He's not from that family. He just hangs out there. I eat char siew pau a lot back in my teenage years. That's how I got to know this 40 years old guy.
I was 15 years old then. Still in a state of puzzlement. I do know though, that I have more interest toward the male form than the female form. But so far I have yet to have any experience, until…
It was a sunny evening. I was doing my round of cycling as usual. There he was, standing at a corner of the road. He waved at me, signalling me to stop. We talk for a while. Eventually our conversation took a turn into the subject of pornography.
I was 15, and still very innocent. In fact, I’d never seen any type of pornography at all by that time. Never watched porno videos before. Never seen any porno magazines before. I don't even have a computer. So he offered to show me some pornography at his house. No indication of gay porn though.
Being all curious how pornography’s like, I followed him to his house, which is just a block away. He rented a room with a couple. The couple is childless, at least at that time. His room is basic with just a bed. No cupboard, no wardrobe. There was all these boxes and plastic bags on the floor~ it’s not messy but somehow looked kind of weird.
He closed the door and had me sat on his bed. He rummage through one of those plastic bags. He then walk toward me with several magazines. Straight porn magazines, as expected.
I flipped through the pages. It was interesting. I’d never seen picture of naked people before. I have never been exposed to such sight before, until that very moment in that tiny room.
He sat next to me, observing my expression. He’s old and unattractive to me. I was there for the porn. Having him study me that way was rather uneasy. But I was too into the visual, I soon stopped being aware of his act.
Those materials was from the 70’s. Or was those 80’s? I have no idea at all. Even though the characters have these big ugly curly hairs, with the men having mustache and hairy chest… I still got turned on. And from that moment on, I know it was the men in the magazine who turned me on. Not the girls. I kind of decided my sexual preferences then, at that time.
The owner of the magazines had his hands up and down my upper leg. I have no idea when he started doing that just because I was too captivated by the magazine.
“Can I jerk you off?”, He asked… “Guys normally jerk off when they got aroused by porn, it’s natural”
I didn’t say anything. In fact I remembered giving him a weird look. Truth is, part of me, especially the groin area yearned to be touched. While the wiser part of me told me that I shouldn’t. The great war between the angel and the devil begun. And like always, the devil won me over. I nod.
He slither his hand into my sport trouser. He then started to yank me penis with his hand. That certainly sent jolt of pleasure all over my body. He continued while I bury my face in the magazines.
He moved to the floor, kneeling between my leg. My trouser was down right at my ankle by then. The room was silent with occasional sigh and moans from my lips. He broke the silence, “Can I suck you? Just a little bit. Please.”
I was breathing heavily. My mind was in a state of euphoria… I can’t think straight. (chuckle) I don’t think I am straight anymore at that point. So I let out a loud, “YEAH!”. Even though he is not attractive to me at all… When I shut my eyes, I can only see those mustached men from the magazine.
There, right in that tiny room… my first sexual experience took place. Even though it was just him sucking me off. I wonder, does that count as loosing my virginity?
